Ummul Believers Ramlah bint Abu Sufyan (Umm Habibah)

Umm Habibah is a woman who married the Prophet from a distance. Rasulullah in Medina, while he was in Africa, in Habasyah. How could that be? Check out the following story.

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As we know, in Arabic the name which previously contained the words Umm, Abu, Ibn, and bintu is called kun-yah. Likewise with Umm Habibah. This is a chew not a name. His name was Ramlah bint Abu Sufyan (Shakhr) bin Harb bin Umayyah bin Abdusy Shams bin Abdu Manaf al-Umawiyah. He was born 25 years before the hijrah. And died in 44 H.

His mother was Shafiyah bint Abi al-Ash bin Umayyah. His mother was the aunt of Caliph Uthman bin Affan radhiallahu 'anhu.

Migrate

Umm Habibah emigrated with her husband, Ubaidullah bin Jahsy, to Habasyah on the second hijrah. There she gave birth to a child named Habibah. But unfortunately, the husband apostatized and embraced Christianity while on the earth of Habasyah's hijrah. Of course this is a big disaster for Umm Habibah. He is overseas. A foreign country far from relatives. If he returns to his hometown of Mecca, he is under threat. His father did not accept his Islam. Now she is completely alone after her husband apostatized. But he remained firm with his Islam (Ibn Sayyid an-Nas: Uyun al-Atsar, 2/389).

In Habasyah, Umm Habibah had a strange dream. Then this dream came true. She said, “In my dream I saw my husband Ubaidullah bin Jahsy looking very bad looking. I feel scared. From there the situation changed. In the morning my husband said, 'Hi Umm Habibah, I really have never seen a religion better than Christianity. In the past, I embraced this religion. After that I embraced Muhammad's religion. Now I'm back to being a Christian again'. I said to him, 'By Allah, there is no good for you'. I told him about my dream. But he didn't care. Eventually he became a khamr addict until he died.

Position and Priority

In terms of lineage, Umm Habibah is a Quraysh woman who is connected by line with the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam to Abdu Manaf. And none of his wives whom he married over long distances like Umm Habibah (Adz-Dzahabi: Siyar A'lam an-Nubala 2/219).

Another position, she is the daughter of the great figure of Mecca and its leader, Abu Sufyan bin Harb. Of course his Islam was very risky for him and embarrassed his father. He knows that embracing Islam is like putting yourself in great danger. No doubt, it must have made his father angry. That's why she took a long and tiring journey with her husband to faraway Africa. Moved to Habasyah. The weight of the hijrah became even more pronounced because at that time she was pregnant with her child, Habibah (Ibn Saad: ath-Thabaqat al-Kubra 8/97). This is the struggle in the way of Allah. Proving the sincerity and depth of his faith in Allah Ta'ala.

The test for him did not stop there. Overseas, the husband apostatized. And died in a state suul khatimah. Kufr embraces Christians. No matter how heavy he felt, he remained strong. Her father was kufr, her husband apostatized, the times of his loneliness did not shake his faith.

Good news

On another occasion, Umm Habibah had a dream again. But this dream is a sweet dream. There was a person who came to him and said, "O Ummul Believers." I am shocked. And I thought the dream was that the Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- was marrying me. After the end of my iddah, a messenger from an-Najasyi came at the door. Ask for permission to meet. It turned out to be his slave girl whose name was Abraha. It was he who took care of an-Najasyi's clothes and anointed him. He entered my house and said, "The king has said to you, 'Indeed, the Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- wrote me a letter asking you to marry him'. God gave you such good news," continued the slave. He continued, "The king told you to appoint someone who represents you to marry you." Umm Habibah sent Khalid bin Said bin al-Ash. He represented himself with Khalid. Then he gave Abraha two silver bracelets and two jewels to be worn on the feet. And also the silver ring was pinned on his toe. It was a form of gratitude for the good news he brought.

When the afternoon came, an-Najasyi ordered Ja'far bin Abu Talib to invite the Muslims to attend this wedding reception. An-Najashi preached, “Praise be to Allah. The Supreme King, the Most Holy, the Most Giver of salvation, the Most Security, the Most Guarding, the Most Mighty, and the Most Powerful. I bear witness that there is no true god except Allah. And Muhammad is His servant and messenger. It was he who was reported by Isa bin Maryam. Amma ba'du. Verily, the Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- wrote me a letter asking him to marry her to Umm Habibah bint Abu Sufyan. I also fulfilled the call of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam. And I gave as much as 400 Dinars. Then I handed over the Dinars to a group of people."

Khalid bin Saad said in turn, “Praise be to Allah. I praise Him, ask Him, and ask for His help. I bear witness that there is no true god except Allah, He has no partner. And I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and messenger. He sent him with guidance and the true religion. So that this religion wins over other religions. Even if it makes the polytheists hate it. Amma ba'du. I have fulfilled the call of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam. And I married him to Umm Habibah bint Abu Sufyan. May the blessings of Allah be upon the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam."

The number of dinars was handed over to Khalid bin Saad. Then he hugged her. Feeling the walimah event was over, the guests started to leave. Khalid said, “Sit down. Verily, among the sunnah of the prophets, when they marry, they give them food." He also invited them to eat. Meals are eaten. Only then did they go home.

Umm Habibah said, "When the dowry arrived in my hands, I handed it over to Abraha who gave me the good news. I told him, 'I gave you what I gave you that time. Even though at that time, I did not have a penny of wealth. There are fifty sekiaan (a number of treasures). Take it and use it'. He refused the treasure. Every time I gave him he always gave it back to me. He said, 'The king ordered me not to accept anything from you. And I am the one who takes care of her clothes and her fragrance. Indeed, I have followed the religion of Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam. And I have surrendered (to Islam) to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. The king ordered his wives to send you the fragrances they had.'

Umm Habibah said, "The next day I had a lot of gaharu, waros, perfume seeds, zabbad (a type of fragrance). I dedicate it all to the Messenger of Allah. He saw it and did not deny it."

Abraha said, "My only wish for you is that you send greetings from me to the Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him-. Tell him that I have followed his religion." Umm Habibah said, Abraha always did good and served him. Every time he met Umm Habibah, he always reminded, "Don't forget to convey my wish."

Umm Habibah said, “When I met the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, I told him how the application process and all of Abraha's good deeds were to me. He smiled. And I conveyed greetings from him to him. The Prophet replied,

وَعَلَيْهَا السَّلامُ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

"For him is also salvation, mercy, and blessings from Allah." (Ibn Saad: ath-Thabaqat al-Kubra, 8/97-98).

Marriage Wisdom

The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam married Umm Habibah in the 7th year H. He married her for honoring her and confirming her religion. We know how Umm Habibah's life journey was. The ordeal of the father, husband, and circumstances have forged him. Not a few women who firmly hold on to the truth fell limp when her husband who was originally a fighter turned back. But not with Umm Habibah. He emigrated with his son. Feeling sad to be left by her husband in a situation he really needed it. Parents who should be the place to complain -after Allah- he cannot rely on either. He lived alone in a place many miles from his hometown. But he remained patient with the situation. Stay true to your religion. Then Allah comforted her by marrying her to His Messenger sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam. And made her the mother of the believers.

Pay attention! How the attention of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam towards the Muslims. Even though they were in a faraway land in Habasyah, he still kept up with their news. Even the news of their individual developments. Among them is about Umm Habibah. The trials in turns came to him. He remained steadfast in his faith and religion. He is patient. And Allah rewarded her patience by marrying her to the best human ever.

His love for the Prophet

It is narrated that Abu Sufyan came to Medina. His arrival in order to lobby the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam to make peace. After previously they themselves, the Quraysh, canceled the Hudaibiyah Agreement. After the Prophet refused his request, Abu Sufyan tried another way. Namely lobbying the Prophet through his daughter who is the wife of the Prophet, Umm Habibah radhiallahu 'anha.

When Abu Sufyan was about to sit on the mattress of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, Umm Habibah hastened to fold it. Abu Sufyan said, “My daughter, (I don't understand) is this mattress not suitable for me (because you want a better one). Or am I the one who doesn't deserve to sit on that bed?” Umm Habibah said, “This is the bed of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam. While you are an unclean polytheist. I don't like my father sitting on the bed of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam." Abu Sufyan said, "My daughter, you became evil after separating from me." “(No) even Allah pointed me to Islam. And you - O father - are figures and leaders of Quraysh, how can you escape from embracing Islam. -As a great man- you worship a stone that neither hears nor sees?!" Abu Sufyan also left his daughter (ash-Salihi ash-Syami: Subul al-Huda wa ar-Rashad, 5/206).

Umm Habibah's love for the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam is also illustrated in the following narration:

"O Messenger of Allah, marry my sister, the daughter of Abu Sufyan." The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied, "Are you happy about that?" Umm Habibah replied, "That's right, I don't just want to be your wife, and I want my sister to join me in getting good". The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Your sister is not lawful for me. Umm Habibah said, "We heard the news that you want to marry Abu Salamah's daughter?" He said, "Abu Salamah's daughter?" Umm Habibibah replied, "Yes." He said, "If she is not my stepdaughter who is in my care, she is still not lawful for me to marry, because she is the daughter of my brother from a milk relationship, namely I and Abu Salamah have both been breastfed by Tsuwaibah (Mawla Abu Lahab). ). Therefore, do not offer your daughter or your sister to me." (Narrated by Bukhari, no. 5101 and Muslim, no. 1449).

Some say that the word of Allah Ta'ala:

عَسَى اللَّهُ أَنْ يَجْعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ وَبَيْنَ الَّذِينَ عَادَيْتُمْ مِنْهُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَاللَّهُ قَدِيرٌ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ

"Hopefully Allah will cause mercy between you and those you are enemies to among them. And Allah is almighty. And Allah is Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [Quran Al-Mumtahanah: 7].

This verse was revealed in connection with Abu Sufyan. Rasulullah married his daughter, Umm Habibah radhiallahu 'anha. Then it became the connecting line for the distant relationship of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam with Abu Sufyan (Ibn Kathir: Tafsir al-Quran al-Azim, 8/89).

After the Prophet's Death

After the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam died, Umm Habibah remained the same person. She is still the old woman, who is steadfast in holding on to the truth. When news of his father's death came, he asked for perfume. (After being brought), he rubbed it on his two cubits and said, "Actually I would not need these perfumes if I had not heard the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam say,

لاَ يَحِلُّ لاِمْرَأَةٍ تُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ أَنْ تُحِدَّ عَلَى مَيِّتٍ فَوْقَ ثَلاَثِ لَيَالٍ ، إِلاَّ عَلَى زَوْجٍ أَرْبَعَةَ أَشْهُرٍ وَعَشْرًا

"It is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the last day to mourn a dead person for more than three days, except for her husband, which is four months and ten days." (Narrated by Bukhari, no. 5335 and Muslim, no. 1491)

During the 33 years of continuing her life after the death of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, Umm Habibah went through many major events with the Muslims. When disaster occurred in Uthman's time, the rebels became increasingly violent. Someone said, "Suppose you meet one of the Ummul Believers. Hopefully they will stop Uthman. They met Umm Habibah bint Abu Sufyan. I (the narrator is Hasan al-Basri) saw him sitting on his white mule (horse-breed with donkey). The people took him to Uthman's residence. But the rebels turned their mounts away. They refused. (Adz-Dzahabi: Siyar A'lam an-Nubala, 4/569).

Umm Habibah radhiallahu 'anha also always maintained good relations with her sisters and fellow wives of the Prophet. From 'Auf bin Al-Harith, he heard Aisyah radhiyallahu 'anha say, “Umm Habibah once called me when she was about to die. He said, 'There must have been problems between us. May Allah forgive me and you from whatever happened between us." Aisha also said, "May Allah forgive you for all your mistakes and justify it all." Umm Habibah then said, "You have made me happy, may Allah also give you happiness." Umm Habibah also said the same to Umm Salamah. (Ibn Saad: ath-Thabaqat al-Kubra, 8/100).

his death

Umm Habibah died in Medina in 44 H. At that time she was 86 years old. He died during the reign of his brother, Muawiyah bin Abu Sufyan. May Allah be pleased with them all (Ibn Hajar: al-Ishabah fi Tamyiz ash-Shahabah, 7/653).

Studies related to this story: The Hijra journey of Ramlah bint Abu Sufyan

Source: storiesmuslim.com / by Nurfitri Hadi